but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
