sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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