Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
