You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
