No awkward lesbian experiences without me
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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