"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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