you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Randomize
