problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
