dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
why do cheetos always look like penises
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
