feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
