and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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