Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
