So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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