All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
