It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Text me some of your sweat
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