Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Where is the hickey?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
