dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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