i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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