thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
