how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
