I don't think brook has ever known best
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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