what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize