Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
