Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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