Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
