omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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