apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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