Me. At least after what I've been through.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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