i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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