Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
