I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
