it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
You were trust falling into bushes
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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