I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
