To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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