I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
