I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Randomize
