Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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