so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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