Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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