I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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