omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize