bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
