going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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