My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
handjob tips. give me some.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize