NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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