why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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