dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
