also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
