Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
