if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
