i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
