either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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