I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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