Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
