new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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