so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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