Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
where are you?
Hypothermia
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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