forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
