Where are you?
In a non slutty way
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Randomize
