Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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