I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Floor bacon is actually really good
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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