if i can run in heels then i can drive
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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