there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
