My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
