when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
